Sleep Training vs. Co-Sleeping

My 3 month old is a terrible sleeper and I¹m not sure what to do. She wakes up every couple hours and the only thing that seems to get her back to sleep is nursing her before I put her back in her crib. I'm so exhausted from getting up so many times during the night. Is it too early to begin sleep training?

We sympathize. Sleepless nights with a newborn can sabotage our best intentions to be patient parents and...

Heathy eating, self esteem & body image

My son is 8 and slightly overweight. I am wondering how to address it. I've even caught him sneaking food. He's a carb lover (like me) and could eat the equivalent of 3 servings of cereal and a bagel for breakfast. How do I help him to make healthy choices without having it backfire and make the problem worse (like sneaking food)? He has become sensitive about his weight, and I believe he has had kids comment about it at school. I would appreciate any advice or insight you have on this issue.

We’re happy you’re engaged in your son’s health and self image and recognize his weight as a potentially sensitive issue. Though you asked specifically about your son’s weight, we'd like to step back...

My preschooler hits me

My three-year-old hits me (hard!) when I try to work on the computer. I want to be gentle and loving but the truth is I feel infuriated at her and even violent at times, especially when it really hurts and I’m stressed because I’m rushing to finish something. I’m worried that I feel so angry, but mostly I just want to know what to do in this situation. Sometimes I just need to get some work done! How should I deal with this?

First of all, it’s a normal physiological response to feel rage (or fear) when you’re hit....

The terrible tweens?

My daughter used to be the sweetest, most loving child. But on the day after she turned 9, she suddenly started acting like a brat, and it’s lasted for months. She is sarcastic and rude, and I sometimes hide from her because I want to avoid her! Just tonight, I asked her what she wanted for dinner and she said “What makes you think I want to eat the food in this house?,” which left me speechless. How do I get my sweet girl back?

It’s alarming when a child transforms – seemingly overnight – into what feels like someone else’s kid....

Getting out the door in the morning

I hate mornings at my house. I’m a single mom and I dread getting my two kids out the door for preschool before I have to go to work. They dawdle while they’re eating breakfast, it’s a struggle to get them to brush their teeth, and when it’s time to get dressed, they fight over every last piece of clothing. One day they’ll wear their clothes, but not their shoes. One will get dressed and the other won’t. Mostly they just want to play, and they say they’ll put on their shirt after this “one more thing.” It’s stressful and I feel like I’ve tried EVERYTHING! We have a set routine every morning, and we start early. I’m really at my wit’s ends. Help!

We feel your pain. Getting out the door in the mornings is stressful for most families with young children....

Using the word "hate"

My seven-year-old son doesn’t curse, but he does use language I don’t like. For example, he “hates” people and things, like some kids at school, a teacher, reading, and pretty much all vegetables. I feel like “hate” is an extreme word and it’s creating a bad atmosphere at home. I’m trying not to have a rule against every little thing, and we already have a rule against cursing, but I’m thinking maybe I should just make “hate” (and a few others) a curse word, too. I’m curious as to what you think I should do.

We admire the fact that you’re handling this issue so thoughtfully. And we think your instinct to avoid having too many rules is a good one; A house full of rules teaches kids obedience but obedience only – it doesn’t allow them to practice their own judgment.....

My toddler won't share

My 18-month-old-son “shares” by handing me something and then snatching it back. What kind of kid am I raising? Are there proven ways to teach a child to share?

The behavior you describe – let’s call it “playing backsies” – is normal, developmentally appropriate behavior for your toddler. It’s admirable that you’re concerned about him growing up to be a considerate kid, but don’t push the concept of sharing yet....

Handling hitting

My two-year-old son Jack is a hitter, and an occasional pusher. He usually gets physical when he's fighting with another toddler over a toy, but sometimes it will come out of nowhere. I understand that this is normal behavior for a two-year-old, but it's still embarrassing, not to mention traumatic for the child who gets hurt. My question is, what is the right way to respond when Jack hits or pushes another child? And is there anything I can do to reduce this impulse in him, or do I just need to wait for him to grow out of it? (You can assume that he's well-rested and well-fed when these outbursts occur; I know kids are more likely to lash out when they're tired or hungry.)

A hitting/pushing phase is normal for toddlers (particularly preverbal ones), but some strategies -- all rooted in thoughtful connection -- are more effective than others for keeping the phase as short as possible....

Parenting strategy: using choices

I'm trying to be a good parent by giving choices to my daughter (age 4), but it's not working at all and I'm at my wits end. What should I do when she refuses to go along with the "giving choices" plan?

Giving a choice can be an effective tool if it’s done respectfully and gives control to a child who wants to feel powerful.

Toothbrushing with toddlers

We recently brought my toddler son to the dentist for the first time, and she told us that he needed to start brushing at least once a day. Unfortunately, it’s turned our bedtime routine into a battle of wills. My son refuses to open his mouth, and when I insist on sticking the toothbrush in his mouth, he ends up kicking and screaming. I’ve tried using different brushes and toothpastes, but he just flat-out refuses. Bedtime with my son used to be my favorite part of the day, but now it’s a nightmare because the tooth brushing struggle ruins everything else. Can you help?

There’s no magic bullet, but there are many tips and tricks that you can choose from to see what works.

Flying with a toddler

My wife’s family lives far away, mine lives local. Since our two year old was born we’ve flown five times and it’s getting to be a nightmare. I don’t know if any of you have travelled with a toddler but we could really use some tips and advice because between the whining and the

tantrums and the squirming on the plane I swear that I never want to leave my state again. I’m normally a very nice person. But not when we fly. Help!

Kids pick up on parents’ stress and react with big, loud emotions, so changing your overall attitude from anxious to relaxed is the most important way to prevent your child’s in-flight melt down.